How long has it been?

Okay so I guess I didn't realize that the last blog I wrote was well over three months ago while I was still pregnant!  OOPS!!  I really could have sworn I have written something since my delivery day.  Goodness no wonder Lenette has been on my case constantly about this!  (LOL)  Well here goes.  I will have to do this in text book fashion!  

Part 1-Labor and Delivery 

After my last blog I was seeing my OB pretty much every other day.  He was doing everything in his power to "assist" me to go into labor.  I believe that although he never said so he was stripping my membranes with each visit.  What you ask makes me say this?  Oh maybe it was just the fact that each cervix check seemed to get more and more painful or it could be that I started spotting or the fact that the last day and a half of my pregnancy I spent lying on top of a heating pad on the couch because of the unbelievable toothache like pain I was having in my back and pelvic areas.  I was also doing my part in trying to get the labor show on the road by walking every night around the neighborhood with Shane, quite a change I must say from being on bedrest for almost 2 months.  Finally week 38, June 12, I went into the office for yet another sonogram at about 9 am.  My amniotic fluid level was low and the baby was not moving or breathing like he should.  From there I was sent directly to the hospital where my OB was already making his rounds.  I arrived to the labor and delivery triage area at St. Joseph's Hospital sometime before 10 am.  At this point they were expecting me and got me situated in a L&D room.  I was 4 cm dilated and though they never said so I assumed given the events of the 2-3 months prior I was already 100% effaced and had been for quite some time.  I had already called Shane at work and he at this point was on his way.  By the time he arrived they had already gotten me hooked up to the monitors and taken my urine and started an impressively sized IV in my forearm (trust me I know IV guages..this one was no joke!).  And the induction at this point was underway.  Let the Pitocin flow!  Around 11 am, my OB was at the bedside breaking my water.  Now my OB had once told me that because I had become effaced so early on that once my water broke I could expect things to progress rapidly.  He wasn't kidding.  Probably by around 1130 or so my heavy labor was in full swing and thanks in part to the VERY painful effects of  Pitocin (seriously all it took was 2 or 3 contractions to convince me that I was no martyr!) my epidural was inserted.  So much for laboring as long as possible without meds-I was definitely all for modern medicine that morning!!  What an interesting thing that epidural was.  It took away my pain per se it was amazing just how much I still could feel, such as that intense achy pressure indicating the need to push.  By this time, Shane had settled in to a chair at my bedside watching "The gangs of New York" (haha that was short lived because shortly after the volume on the tv stopped working and he ended up having to watch it without sound!!)  My OB had been coming in and out of the room to check on us, me and Cameron that is.  At one point he came in and put and oxygen mask over my mouth and nose as he was telling me that my baby was "angry", meaning he was not responding well to my contractions.  And then thats when it happened...the c-section discussion.  He said he would give me a little time to try and push him out although it was becoming a real strong possibility he would have to be born via c-section.  It was not an option I was going to protest if it meant the safe and healthy delivery of my little man.  At about 1 pm or so my nurse checked me again and in just that short amount of time I was already dilated to 9 cm.  At 125 pm I began the grueling work of pushing.  And when I say grueling I am not exaggerating by any means.  It didn't take much before I felt my head was going to explode or that I was going to pass out or I was going to puke or that the lower half of my body was going to fall off...and the list goes on.  The firs few pushes I was trying to do with the oxygen mask on.  Oh, that was fun.  My nose at that point was stuffed up so I couldn't breathe and add to that the oxygen mask...I felt like I was suffocating.  So we worked out a deal-my OB, My L&D nurse, and me-I pulled the mask off during pushing and it went back on in between pushes.  Anyway, after pushing for about 45 mins, my OB returned and began talking C-section again.  15 more minutes was all he was giving me before he would go that route.  He exited the room once more to put a c-section OR on standby for me.  I pushed for 14 more minutes and at 2 24 pm my little man Cameron came into our world!  He was welcomed by obviously Shane, myself, my OB Dr. Lewis, my L&D nurse and a neonatal ICU nurse (I had meconium staining in my amniotic fluid indicating possible fetal distress).  He was just as healthy as could be.  He cried almost immediately and scored an APGAR of  9 twice.  It was the most precious moment ever! 

To Be Continued...... 

The final countdown

Well about 37 weeks down, not much more to go. I am feeling ready now, however I still have very mixed feelings. I have loved being pregnant probably because I have been lucky enough to have avoided all the common discomforts that pregancy is notorious for, nausea and vomiting (aka morning sickness), constipation, hemorrhoids, excessive weight gain-to name a few! Don't get me wrong, my pregnancy has not gone totally without some mild inconveniences however most of them fortunately waited until my 8th month or so. Since my 8th month I have noted increased frequency and intensity of heartburn, slight urinary incontinence when laughing hard or sneezing, swollen feet/ankles/legs to the point of mild discomfort when walking, increased weight gain (weight gain now on a daily basis rather than the measly 1 pound or so per wk or two I was gaining for the longest time), discomfort when doing simple routine things such as attempting to shave my legs or even washing my feet when showering or even my newest discomfort when reaching around what feels like my ENORMOUS belly to wash my most private delicate areas. I also now feel as if I have a built in buoyancy vest with the two so called breasts I have to lug around with me daily-each of which I swear weighs ten pounds a piece. I am reaching sizes I never imagined were possible on my body without the assistance of a plastic surgeon and a good job as a stripper! And the best is yet to come because they are predicted to get even bigger! Hopefully breastfeeding will be a smashing success because what a waste if it does not go well. And my nemesis since the beginning of my pregnancy the shortness of breath I have felt both with and without activity still remains after all these months. Friends have joked around and said to me that if they didn't know better they would've thought they called a 1-900 number to speak to someone at times! But despite all these mild discomforts, I am blessed to have gotten to exerience it and I feel somewhat saddened by the thought of it coming to an end. I will forever miss the many joys it brings, like knowing that this is the one and only time in life that he will be with you 100% of the time, and knowing that as long as he is within you he is as healthy and safe as possible, and feeling his little body move within you, a constant reminder that he is still there. But I find myself now waiting in eager anticipation to see him and hold him and see Shane hold him and get some kind of reassurance once and for all that he is healthy. I also feel fearful of giving up the life that I once had before he existed, fearful of the unknown-what kind of parent will I be. But I know that I will never regret moving foward to this stage of my life and everything will always somehow be okay. I am now 37 weeks, over 2 cm dilated and just about as effaced as can be as of yesterday. I've noticed an increase and the number of contractions I am getting since yesterday and also an increase in their intensity some more than others. However, they have not yet taken on any pattern that warrants a trip to the hospital. So I guess its safe to say my countdown has begun. Its funny that all the things I fear the most and waste the most energy in anxiety are revolving around everything but the discomforts of labor and delivery. That has never seemed to scare me or cause much anxiety for some reason. Maybe it'll hit me like a ton of bricks on d-day! Oh and one more bit of good news to report...Shane has been assigned TAD on the CG base in sector St. Pete for the duration of my pregnancy...I will fortunately have him home every night at least until my delivery date. Thank you US Coast Guard for its understanding.

My hormones must be playing games with my emotions

33 weeks and still counting. Not sure what to think of anything anymore. I really am enjoying being pregnant aside from the center of my body feeling stretched beyond all belief. As of the most recent appointment with Dr. Lewis, not much is new. "Not much cervix left there, but you still have enough". He seems less concerned each time I see him which has now become a weekly occurance, along with my sonograms, that I am overly concerned whether or not Tricare will cover. I am not sure quite how to take the things he says now. He seems less concerned the further along I get because if the baby were born now he'd be in pretty good shape development wise. He even mentioned during Monday's recheck the possibility of me returning to work "halftime" if I wanted to. However, he remains concerned enough for weekly visits and yet another check Friday morning to clear me for a trip to GA to see my in-laws. Do I really want to return to work now at this stage of the game? Financially it may be in our best interest, but selfishly I feel I don't. I have now become accustomed to the thought of this being the time for bonding between my baby and me God felt I needed and also much needed relaxation time that I don't normally allow myself while working a full time schedule. The obvious answer is well just stay home then to any other person including Shane. Nothing is ever that cut and dry in my mind.
We started childbirth classes Monday after the visit with Dr. Lewis. We started learning about the grueling process called "labor and delivery". I enjoyed it for the most part despite the quirky "oh give me a break" looks shot in my direction by my loving hubby. For me it was a crash course refresher of Maternity 101 complete with clinical component from oh so long ago when I was in nursing school. I can't say that it was the first or last time I've learned about the three stages of labor. The first thing the instructor made us do was turn and introduce ourselves to and get to know about another couple in the class for the purpose of introducing that couple to the class while they in turn did the same for us. The couple we met was very friendly, expecting a boy as well, due date the day before me. The first thing she said to me had to do with being scared about labor and delivery. And you know what, I just don't feel all that scared about it. I sit here and I wonder if it just won't hit me for a few more weeks or if its normal for some people to just not feel scared. Or am I just so consumed with worries, fears, anxieties related to everything else that it is overshadowing those fears of something that just seems so inevitable to me. I mean there's no turning back now, there has been only one way out since oh..say.. October 5th or so, right? The old addage "you play, you pay" comes to mind. But yet like I started to say before, as much as I am enjoying my pregnancy and all the good and bad feelings that come with it, I somewhat find myself waiting in earger anticipation for the big day as well. I selfishly don't want the feelings of my little man moving around inside me or the one on one time he and I have all the time or the feeling that while he's living inside me I have the ability to control and protect him from as many things as I am aware of to end. Yet I also feel I need the reassurance of seeing him and holding him to know he's healthy as can be and he has 10 fingers and 10 toes and no Downs syndrome, no infections, etc. and to see who he looks like and what kind of personality he will have and despite confirmation on 4 separate sonograms dating back to my 11th week, also 100% confirmation that he is in fact a boy. These things and more seem to preoccupy my thoughts more than the thought of the discomfort I will soon endure to bring him into this world.
Shane took the service wide exam in attempt to advance to Chief Petty Officer yesterday. He feels confident about his performance on the exam. But as with anything in the Coast Guard/military its all a waiting game from here. A month or so before we find out an exam score, then a few more weeks after to find out, in order of scores, a placement number on a list of the men and women who took the damn thing, and then yet another month or two before we find out the final verdict on whether or not that placement number is high enough on the list to make Chief. Goodness sake. Like I said to Shane, at least we have something else to look foward to and preoccupy our minds this year. Then, he's also got his eyes on a position in Chesapeake VA. It sounds promising that if he were to put in for it at his current rank or as Cheif he'd be given it. Sure, it sounds ideal, exactly in the middle of both of our hometowns, appx 10 hrs from each, and a short 3 hrs from one of my good friends, Lenette, however he's been told we could be looking at 8 years there. A big jump from 3 years-if we don't like it there we don't have to be there that long-its only 3 yrs. I know nothing about VA and neither does he, yet he remains more optimistic and enthusiastic about it right now than I do. I feel bad because this job is a great opportunity for him and his career, its the ideal position for him, doing something he enjoys and is good at. I guess I'll have to do more research on it.
One last thing on my mind is two of my closest friends, Lydia and Kristen, have ended their travel nurse contracts here in FL with no hopes of re-signing due to the lack of demand for travel nurses in FL. Lydia left 10 days ago for Chicago, her home base, for a temporary assignment. And Kristen too is leaving for MA, for a temporary assignment closer to her home base. Kristen has been here for over a year and crazy as she has driven me in that time, I am going to miss having her here. It just feels like a huge blow knowing they were both here through pretty much my whole pregnancy and a little before yet they are going to miss the most important part of it. I am back to having Shane, my best friend and my family only. Not that thats a consolation prize by any means, he is a wonderful husband and support system to me, I couldn't ask for anyone better. But I think a girl just needs her best girlfriends or at least her mother to be within arm's reach just as much sometimes too.

Pregnancy and all its glory

29 weeks and counting.  Aside from increasing bouts of heartburn, the feeling of my skin stretching tighter and tighter around my mid torso, fear of stretch marks, and always feeling pretty tired, thus far I have had few complaints about my pregnancy.  I really do like being pregnant.  I have to say though that I didn't think it would come to anything like this.  After weeks of uncomplicated, uneventful progression of my pregnancy, we've had some big changes of events.  It started with a routine visit to my OB, Dr. Lewis on Tuesday April 1.  A check was done to make sure I was safe to fly to MA that weekend for a wedding shower.  It was discovered that the increased sensations of pressure in my pelvic cavity that I had been feeling for the week or two prior, actually meant something though I had, as a newbie to the pregnancy thing, chocked it up to being normal as a result of a growing baby sitting very low and on my bladder.  I was 25% effaced during that visit, meaning my cervix was starting to soften, a process that normally begins toward the end of pregnancy when its time to give birth.  This was cause for concern in my doctor's mind but not enough to prevent me from flying to MA.  I took my trip to MA which ended up being much busier than expected.  My mother and sister threw me a baby shower for which close family and friends were in attendance.  This was followed up by attending the beginning stage of a bachelorette party for one of my close friends and the next day a wedding shower for another very close friend.  On the Monday when we got back, I followed up with Dr. Lewis as directed the week before for a recheck.  It showed no further softening, however it lead to scheduling a sonogram for more accurate measurement of my cervix and another follow up visit by the end of the week, as well as the shortening of my work days to 6 hrs a piece vs. the 12 hrs I had been doing up until the week before.  The sonogram was done on Thursday the 10th.  It was a wonderful opportunity to see my little man on screen yet once again-I had not seen him since his 18th week.  And just like the first and second sonograms it was love at first sight all over again.  It was amazing to see how developed he was thus far.  He even posed for 2 take home face shots in which his little eyes were in clear view as if he were looking eyes wide open at me.  The sonogram tech left me feeling optimistic that the next day I would see Dr. Lewis and be granted permission to continue on working shortened shifts and rest as much as possible.  Much to my surprise however, I was further effaced than before-just about 50% at that point warranting bedrest like activity, no work, steroid shots to help speed up fetal lung development, and continuing on a prophylactic course of antibiotics.  So here I have sat pretty much 24 hrs a day at home since Friday April 11th attempting to find creative ways to entertain myself in between sappy chick flick after chick flick running around the clock on Lifetime movie network.  I find myself now adjusted to it much more than when the first set of restrictions were implemented.  The intense worry and anxiety I immediately felt regarding first and most important the health of my unborn child and the potential repercussions of him being born way too soon as well as my concerns for our financial well being going so abruptly from the comfort of two good incomes to just one have calmed somewhat, though they are never gone completely.  I also have been fighting my frustrations with having to accept being forced to stay down for the count for the sake of my little man.  Its just something that I am still finding difficult to adjust to.  Never have I been told not to work or not to do housework, etc.  I am only used to the limitations I set for myself through laziness and procrastination.  But somehow everything will have to find its way of working out for Cameron's sake.  The goal at this point is to make it to 32-33 weeks minimum.  Thank goodness for my stubbornness, I WILL MEET THAT GOAL!!!     

Been a while

Wow, its been longer than I thought since my last blog. Lots of new things since then besides furniture! On October 22, I found out Shane and I are expecting a baby. After not feeling quite right the whole weekend and one missed period, I made a pit stop at Walmart on the way home from work that evening. I purchased two different name brand 2-packs of pregnancy tests and some treats for the animals. I took the first test expecting negative results and to my shock...POSITIVE! Of course, thanks to the wonderful Coast Guard, my hubby was not there physically to experience this. He was however, only on duty and I called him hands shaking, heart pounding, jumping up and down, saying "I think I might be pregnant!". Real clever of me, huh? "I THINK I might be pregnant". So of course me being the pessimist I am and automatically assuming the worst..human error..a mistake, I opened up the other name brand bx of test and took one of those while I was on the phone with Shane...POSITIVE! I was elated, but still doubtful the next morning, so yet once again, I took a third test and ...surprise...POSITIVE! I took a trip that day to my PCM (primary care manager-for all he non-coasties that may read this) and had a blood test done yet once again with positive results. My due date is June 28, 2008, I am at present 20 weeks. I since finding out have been through 2 OB docs. I have an OB in Tampa out of St. Joseph's hospital now, who thus far I am pleased with. He is a one man show with 30 years experience and a lofty postion in the OB dept at St. Joe's women's hospital where I will most likely deliver. At week 17 I started to feel the baby move, an amazing feeling, like someone rolling a small marble on the inside of my lower abdomen. Now the feelings have been much more frequent, mostly in the evening and feel like a baseball instead of that tiny marble. I also had my second ultrasound on Jan. 29th, the day we found out we were having a baby boy. Three days later we decided on a name for our little man...Cameron George Williford. There was a big rush for us to get the ultrasound done and name him because Shane was due to leave on Feb. 1st for his next patrol. It was really important for him to be there to see our little man and he wanted to be able to call him by a name now. Its become so much more exciting now that he has a known sex and a little identity, it seems more real. And now I am currently crossing the milestone marker into "viable" pregnancy territory-a very good thing in the medical world. The events of the past few weeks have all allowed me to rest a little more reassured. But I definitely find that ever since we started trying to have a baby the worry began and it only has grown. I feel as if there is always something to worry about. However, I am being reassured that so far so good. On the last ultrasound, I was 18 weeks and everything seemed to be measuring good...the baby's size, my size, the amount of amniotic fluid, the amount of weight gained so far, heartrates for both baby and mommy, my blood pressure. The best part..no morning sickness. But despite all that I still worry. And I've been told by many experienced parents that that never goes away.

Being Computer Illiterate

Damn! I keep trying to post the ultrasound pics on here but apparently they are not from the right type of file! If only I weren't so computer dumb! Anyway, I have to post some pics of Hank (our dog) and Harry (our cat), maybe it'll let me do that.